Renaissance Courtship and Marriage

How people dated, got engaged and married during the Renaissance

© Lorri Brown

Apr 25, 2007
The Peasant Wedding by Pieter Brueghel the Elder, wikicommons
Renaissance courtship, betrothal and weddings were unique during the European Renaissance. The main of goal of a Renaissance marriage was to produce children.

The very rich(nobles and royalty) generally married to better their families social standing, and increase the family’s coffers. Everyone else, from merchants to peasants, usually married for love, or at least compatibility.

Renaissance Betrothal

Popular since the Middle Ages, a betrothal ceremony confirmed that two people promised to marry one another. A betrothal ceremony was often considered more legally binding then the marriage ceremony. Indeed, if a couple who was already betrothed had sexual intercourse, then they were considered married. No need for a wedding! A betrothal contract could only be broken if both parties agreed. By parties, it was usually the parents of the bride, and perhaps of the groom if he was younger, who arranged or broke betrothal agreements. Because there was much confusion about betrothal ceremonies and wedding ceremonies, the custom of betrothals began fading during the 1500’s. As a result, a great deal more emphasis was placed on the wedding ceremony.

Renaissance Weddings

Many weddings, except for those of strict protestant sects, held a wedding processional through the streets. Sometimes the bride walked, other times she was carried by horseback. The bride always wore a beautiful dress, perhaps of velvet or brocade. Sometimes the dress would be borrowed or rented. The dress was most likely not white- that color came in vogue with Queen Victoria in the 1800s.

Renaissance Marriage

To the marriage, the bride brought a dowry and a bridal trousseau. Her dowry depended on the financial status of her family. If she came from a wealthy family a bride’s dowry might be an estate, and perhaps some jewels. A merchant or farmers daughter may have some gold coin, clothing, household goods, and perhaps livestock. The very poor did not usually have dowries.

A bridal trousseau consisted of various household goods, such as pewter plates, candlesticks, and linen. It may also contain the bride’s clothing. The groom brought to the marriage counter-trousseau and perhaps jewels, depending on his wealth.

Once a woman was married, her husband became her legal guardian. Her husband legally owned all the property she brought to the marriage, including her wedding finery. If the marriage was annulled, then the bridal dowry was returned. The husband kept everything else.

Because the purpose of marriage was to produce children, sex and procreation were commonly discussed topics during the Renaissance. Unlike Victorian times, when sex and pregnancy were considered a taboo topic in polite society, the Renaissance was rampant with advice on how and when to have sex. Pamphlets illustrating sexual positions and other bedroom “activities” were very popular in during the 1500s. No doubt, the printing press played a huge role in producing vast amounts of literature about Renaissance sex education.

A big theme in Renaissance sexual advice was moderation. It was believed that sperm was more potent if was stored for a long time, so couples were encouraged to rest for several days, or weeks at time in between sexual encounters. One pamphlet promoted the following days as “rest” days for male sperm:

- Sundays

- Feast days

- Three days prior to Holy Communion, and the three days following it

- Lent- yes the entire fotry days

- Pregnancy- yes the entire nine months

- Breastfeeding

- Menstruation

Couples would often have several children, but rarely did all of their offspring make it to adulthood. Because children could begin working at relatively young ages, they were essential for farmers and other cottage industries. Children would also be the primary caregivers to parents in their old age, so it was important to have at least a few kids survive the perils of a Renaissance childhood.

Sources

Sider, Sandra. Handbook to life in Renaissance Europe. New York: Facts on File, 2004


The copyright of the article Renaissance Courtship and Marriage in W European History is owned by Lorri Brown. Permission to republish Renaissance Courtship and Marriage in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.




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Comments
May 13, 2008 6:07 PM
Guest :
thank you, this was amazing. it helped me so much!
Sep 30, 2008 11:00 AM
Guest :
what about the day\ting
Oct 3, 2008 10:30 AM
Guest :
thanks for the advice it really helped
Oct 12, 2008 3:13 AM
Guest :
This does not give me any information on how the marriage was in the 1500s i need it for history homework update it!!!!:0
Oct 22, 2008 8:43 AM
Guest :
your suppose to tell me the wedding vows not the marriage
Oct 27, 2008 6:15 PM
Guest :
Who married people in the Renaissance???
Nov 10, 2008 8:00 AM
Guest :
that was lame
Dec 10, 2008 5:45 PM
Guest :
thanks.Now i can finish my h/w!!^^
Jan 22, 2009 9:59 AM
Guest :
This was all very good information. But I think some of them are right. This would be an even better site if you added information about the courting (dating) part of life. This site helped me write like 2 pages about Renaissance marriages.
Jan 23, 2009 10:50 AM
Guest :
This was good, but needs a little more on how life is for the newly-weds after the wedding.
Jan 28, 2009 9:57 PM
Guest :
what was the goal of the wedding itself??? no website has that!!
Jan 31, 2009 2:30 PM
Guest :
Wow it was realy trick back tehn
Feb 3, 2009 7:53 AM
Guest :
this didn't help at all!!!!!!!!!!
Feb 4, 2009 10:24 AM
Guest :
This website has way too much sex, not enough education.
Feb 17, 2009 2:14 PM
Guest :
this page and the other page on the roles of the family is helping me on my report due on thursday.. today 2/17/09 tuesday.... so yh i thank who ever made this page your truly a life saver to me.... thanks again!!!!
Feb 27, 2009 6:30 AM
Guest :
wow this says like nothing about the dating aspect of it!!! how can i write a paper on two peopl eegetting married if i don't know how they courted and all that? and i think this also needs some statistics, thank you very much. this wasn't very helpful :(
Feb 27, 2009 6:34 AM
Guest :
hmmmm. this site needs more statistics and info on courting. if im gonna write a paper on 2 people getting married shouldnt i know how they dated??
Mar 17, 2009 10:33 AM
Guest :
name three mariage and betrothal customs found on this page. cnat find.
Mar 17, 2009 10:52 AM
Guest :
explain how important is a wedding ring?
Mar 17, 2009 11:12 AM
Guest :
this article did not help me write one sentence
Mar 17, 2009 2:36 PM
Guest :
this article helpt me write 10pages on my school report!! thankyou!!:)
Mar 23, 2009 8:36 AM
Guest :
this didn't help at all :(
who married them, and why was it important for the bride to have her virginity. update your page.
Apr 7, 2009 1:59 PM
Guest :
wayy too much about sex. more about dating would be nice
Apr 17, 2009 12:48 PM
Guest :
why did girls marry at such a young age?
May 6, 2009 1:43 AM
Guest :
thank you,
this helped a lot with my assignment.
May 12, 2009 6:00 AM
Guest :
Thanks so muchh! Helped me with my Othello project for english
May 12, 2009 6:00 AM
Guest :
Thanks so muchh! Helped me with my Othello project for english
May 14, 2009 10:54 AM
Guest :
this article is very interesting
Jul 30, 2009 7:55 PM
Guest :
My Goodness kids get off your lazy butts and do your homework with books. This is a place to start but they shouldn't be doing your homework for you after all Renaissance is a period not a place: What was custom in Italy or France may NOT be the custom in England. Part of writing papers is to do the research yourself by using primary sources for info. No site could give you all that you need to know. Use a library for heavens sake.

For those looking for marriage vows or more info find a copy AND THE BRIDE WORE WHITE by Ann Monsarrat. But remember this was the period that was on the cusp of Reformation so it depends on what church you are refereing to and if whether it was a sacrament. YOu have to think about the period and what was going on historically ( reformation in England/Scotland and large parts of Europe). For heaven sakes there were places like Scotland where one need only declare themselves married ( NOT HANDFAST) and they would be legally married with no church involvement.
Aug 25, 2009 3:10 PM
Guest :
what about what is the goal of a renaissance wedding?
Oct 12, 2009 2:04 PM
Guest :
Thank You,this is nice but what about the dating for the secondary school.I much say this can help the children &it is good advice.
Oct 19, 2009 10:05 AM
Guest :
geeeez I can't believe thier marriages were about sex.....anywhoozle this helped me on my paper. it wan't what I was really looking for but, it's kinda funny sex....that's not right:) thanks
Nov 2, 2009 10:06 AM
Guest :
really this doesnt helpme onmy report at all
33 Comments