Renaissance Courtship and Marriage

How people dated, got engaged and married during the Renaissance

© Lorri Brown

Apr 25, 2007

The very rich(nobles and royalty) generally married to better their families social standing, and increase the family’s coffers. Everyone else, from merchants to peasants, usually married for love, or at least compatibility.

Renaissance Betrothal

Popular since the Middle Ages, a betrothal ceremony confirmed that two people promised to marry one another. A betrothal ceremony was often considered more legally binding then the marriage ceremony. Indeed, if a couple who was already betrothed had sexual intercourse, then they were considered married. No need for a wedding! A betrothal contract could only be broken if both parties agreed. By parties, it was usually the parents of the bride, and perhaps of the groom if he was younger, who arranged or broke betrothal agreements. Because there was much confusion about betrothal ceremonies and wedding ceremonies, the custom of betrothals began fading during the 1500’s. As a result, a great deal more emphasis was placed on the wedding ceremony.

Renaissance Weddings

Many weddings, except for those of strict protestant sects, held a wedding processional through the streets. Sometimes the bride walked, other times she was carried by horseback. The bride always wore a beautiful dress, perhaps of velvet or brocade. Sometimes the dress would be borrowed or rented. The dress was most likely not white- that color came in vogue with Queen Victoria in the 1800s.

Renaissance Marriage

To the marriage, the bride brought a dowry and a bridal trousseau. Her dowry depended on the financial status of her family. If she came from a wealthy family a bride’s dowry might be an estate, and perhaps some jewels. A merchant or farmers daughter may have some gold coin, clothing, household goods, and perhaps livestock. The very poor did not usually have dowries.

A bridal trousseau consisted of various household goods, such as pewter plates, candlesticks, and linen. It may also contain the bride’s clothing. The groom brought to the marriage counter-trousseau and perhaps jewels, depending on his wealth.

Once a woman was married, her husband became her legal guardian. Her husband legally owned all the property she brought to the marriage, including her wedding finery. If the marriage was annulled, then the bridal dowry was returned. The husband kept everything else.

Because the purpose of marriage was to produce children, sex and procreation were commonly discussed topics during the Renaissance. Unlike Victorian times, when sex and pregnancy were considered a taboo topic in polite society, the Renaissance was rampant with advice on how and when to have sex. Pamphlets illustrating sexual positions and other bedroom “activities” were very popular in during the 1500s. No doubt, the printing press played a huge role in producing vast amounts of literature about Renaissance sex education.

A big theme in Renaissance sexual advice was moderation. It was believed that sperm was more potent if was stored for a long time, so couples were encouraged to rest for several days, or weeks at time in between sexual encounters. One pamphlet promoted the following days as “rest” days for male sperm:

- Sundays

- Feast days

- Three days prior to Holy Communion, and the three days following it

- Lent- yes the entire fotry days

- Pregnancy- yes the entire nine months

- Breastfeeding

- Menstruation

Couples would often have several children, but rarely did all of their offspring make it to adulthood. Because children could begin working at relatively young ages, they were essential for farmers and other cottage industries. Children would also be the primary caregivers to parents in their old age, so it was important to have at least a few kids survive the perils of a Renaissance childhood.

Sources

Sider, Sandra. Handbook to life in Renaissance Europe. New York: Facts on File, 2004

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